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Thoughts about Communication


Inspired by long-term as well as recent thoughts and the last meeting notes I started writing this as a comment but as it developed I decided that this is worth a separate discussion.

This Nebula project sounds totally like us in the "good old" times when we used to have - yes actually almost dayly - meetings at Erdbeerbar or later at the Waffle House. We were philosophying a lot about any kind of issue coming up. And we had deep discussions. For half a year it went like this and we mostly were 10-15 people. Often different people every time. The ones who felt deepest attached to the way we tried to see the world stayed. From about 1000 people that mainly Lucian back then had email contact with and a couple of hundreds who met each other it was only 6 being ready to really do it. I would like people to think about this. It has never been easy and I don't think it was ever meant to be easy.
But again about Nebula: I think it would be nice to meet them and to share experiences.

I ususlly dislike the atmosphere in the meetings. I have two questions for you about this:
- Do you know that the way you do/did it is exactly the way businesses have meetings?
- Are you sure that is how you want to act and that there is no better way?
In my opinion the reason why those meeting always "had to be" like this lately was because of a lack of common sense, a lack of thinking from most individuals, a lack of respect and attention to the points adressed and being discussed. It almost always happened that general aspects turn to unnecessary personal fights, the point gets lost or any given opportunity is taken to lead the topic to something completely different. Also I miss the kind of really listening to what is said, reflect the situation from your own point and tell others about your perception of the point without at the same time taking everything personally yourself or towards the person adressing a point. If during this discussion you notice another topic you would like to discuss, you should keep it in mind, add it seperately to this or the next talk (maybe we can try to avoind using the word "meeting").
This seems to me as we need to get to a common level of how to communicate efficiently first. But it almost sounds like teaching things to people who don't want to listen. That's pointless. So I agree there is just a need for more reflected communication.

I don't want to restrict anyone on the things they want to talk about and I don't want to push discussions in any certain direction and for sure I don't only want to promote the project the way it might have been or seemed at the very beginning to us. Everything I would like to keep up is the spirit of it. What is taken to action is an everchanging rainbow of possibilities created by every single individual in the end, obviously. For me personally it is mainly about good, productive and stimulating communication to make living together work. I am also happy to be able to say that is is not only a dream that I or we have, but we also know it works because it did before.

The difference comparing it to before is just that everyone who didn't get along with the problems and ideas discussed at Erdbeerbar simply didn't come back, leaving the group to naturally select its members by this as a common base. Now, having people living together in the house, this seems to fail. People are coming in before they know what the whole thing is about, some of them loving this way of mental closeness, others loving different things there. Still there are these (too) official meetings but we all can feel different interests clash. Natural selsction doesn't happen anymore, everyone feels stuck to this place because of course it is possible and great to be there and want to stay there for many different reasons. But the good communication got lost.

Now I think we should find out if our problems are just caused by a still homogeneous group working on a larger scale, or by the new plurality.
At least for the latter I think the simple way to solve it would be - which has also been part of the project before - expand to a wider network. There has to be a solution for when this contract ends anyway. How about together finding more than one place for different groups which have different dreams and goals.
Another atempt to solve it requires more involvement and the desire to really "want" it by everyone. At the moment I don't see that happen and I don't think this can be forced though.

I am still learning about all this. About how this kind of communication does work, about how else it could also work and especially how I can realize and improve it myself, about how I can let less failures happen and avoid also personal problems caused only by malcommunication.
Please lets think and talk about it and get back to making this a learning experience. I am curious to hear your opinions.



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